Scare Tactics

A few days ago, I got a call from the Auburn Police Department. Apparently, I was involved in a bar brawl and injured a police officer. (Was that you, Hank? This is Charlie. Did you forget your pills again?) The desk officer said they sent me a couple of letters, but never replied, hence the call.

They got my address right, but not the exact unit number. They got my first initial and surname, but not the full name. So I started to wonder. During the questioning, I tried asking the guy who filed the complaint and the case details 'coz it looks like they got the wrong guy. According to police records (keyboard clicks in the background), I have a prior case of rape, and I had to bail myself out. C'mon, this is not even funny anymore. "Hi, Miss. I'd like to have some carnal knowledge of you. Resistance is futile."

At this point, I told the guy I'm not giving out any more personal information over the phone. Will he just give me the police station address, so I can personally sort out matters? The guy then revealed that, "You're on Scare Tactics!" (chuckles and guffaws in the background) where I get a chance to win either $10,000 or a new Jeep. The new show is supposed to come out on TV this week. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and my eyes peeled.