SQ Movie Marathon (Outbound)

Having paid premium fare for a Singapore Airlines flight, it's just right that I spend all my waking hours on the plane catching up on the movies.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

This slow, slow movie runs for two hours and twenty minutes. Thank heavens for the fast-forward button. Even though I kept the movie on fast-forward mode, I was still able to make out the overall story. Probably because I've already read the seven books that make up C.S. Lewis' classic work. Still, if a movie doesn't engage the audience, in spite of all the special effects and grand battles scenes, then it's no good. I just can't feel for the characters. The kids keep bickering, the dialogues are awfully cheesy, everything feels scripted. It's like you know everything will work out in the end anyway. The only interesting part of the movie is when Santa Claus showed up in his sleigh bearing gifts of potions and weapons. Very convenient. The scene I dislike most is when the Ice Queen "killed" Aslan. Has a Roman crucifixion feel to it. I don't know about you, but when I kill someone, I make sure he's dead. Quartered preferably, and remember to throw the pieces to the dogs and wolves so there's no chance in Narnia that he will be resurrected by some mumbo jumbo "Deep Magic" or "Moral Law".

Crash

Crash comes highly recommended by a colleague, and I'm happy I took her advice. The movie is about racial stereotypes and how it affects all of us - from the perpetuators to the victims. There's quite a number of characters in the movie. They all have their own stories to tell, their own insecurities and prejudices, and it's wonderful how the movie manages to bring them all together in the end.

You have the redneck patrol cop with an ailing father, the African-American TV director who's trying to blend in, his uptown wife, the Latino locksmith and his family, two young blacks who carjack on the side, the Persian family after the American dream, the black detective and his Puerto Rican girlfriend. In one scene, the two black teenagers emerge from an Italian restaurant. One kid was (Guy A) complaining to the other (Guy B) about the treatment they get. They had to wait like an hour before they got their spaghetti. While other white patrons are waiting, they get served coffee, but not them. Guy B commented that they don't drink coffee anyway. But that's not the point, Guy A insists. And to think the waitress is also black. Maybe she knows we're lousy tippers, suggested Guy B. Did you leave a tip?, he asks. For that kind of service? No way, says Guy A. Guy B chuckles. It's not funny, says Guy A. But it is so funny, I say. Black humour, pun intended.

Further down the road, we see Sandra Bullock and Brendan Fraser walking, fashionably dressed. As the approach the oncoming black teenagers, Sandra Bullock walks closer to George and clutches his arm. Guy A sees this, and again he complains to Guy B. See that? Just because we're blacks. There's a chill wind; maybe she's cold, reasons Guy B. In a street full of white people, we should be the ones who are afraid, counters Guy A. Now, why should people be afraid of us, asks Guy A. Um, because we have guns?, says Guy B. Right! The two swings into action and drags Sandra and Brendan out of the SUV, and off they go to the chop shop.

Back at the couple's house, we see Sandra berating Brendan within an inch of his life. They got this Latino guy to change all the locks in the house. Right in front of the guy, Sandra tells Brendan to get another locksmith to change the locks first thing tomorrow so "the gang-banger doesn't sell the keys to his amigos". The Latino guy probably has received this kind of treatment before, as he didn't react. Incidentally, he's also the locksmith who fixed the lock of this Persian guy's store, who keeps getting robbed by the neighborhood thugs. The locksmith was telling the Persian man that he already put in a new lock, but the problem is the door. The Persian insists that there's nothing wrong with the door, and wants the man to fix the lock. Fix the door! Fix the lock! Fix The Door! Fix The Lock! Obviously, the cheapskate Persian guy is not gonna pay for the lock, so the locksmith left in frustration. The Persian man must be feeling smug because he and his daughter recently bought a gun and a box of bullets. (Now, there's another very funny scene with the gunstore owner insisting he won't sell guns to 9/11 Iraqi murderers. But later he still did, for a profit. Long live capitalism!) Next day, the Persian man comes to the store to see it totally thrashed. Insurance man comes in and declares they're not paying because it's the owner's negligence for not fixing the door. With his American Dream crumbling right before his very eyes, he reacts in the way he knows best. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the robbers didn't steal the gun in the drawer. With the gun loaded, our Persian friend goes to the locksmith's house and lies in wait. The locksmith later comes home to his wife and daughter. Persian man pulls out the gun and demands the locksmith give him back his money. The locksmith offers him everything in his pockets, but the Persian man says that's not what he wants. Greedy bastard. Just as he fires, the little girl runs up to her dad to protect him. (The locksmith told her that she's wearing a cape of invincibility. The lies parents tell kids.) And the shot takes her squarely in the back. This is the Oscar moment of the whole movie. The look of confused remorse on the Persian guy's face, and the look of hopeless anguish on the locksmith's face. Now that's powerful drama!

I can tell you the story about the redneck patrol cop and how he sexually harassed the African-American director's sexy wife, how that incident caused the couple's breakup because the wife thought the husband should've defend her honor, but they both knew nothing can be done, and how later the same redneck cop saved the very same woman in a fiery car accident, and all was well, but I would rather you watch the movie yourself.

Before I forget the punchline. The Persian guy's daughter (intentionally?) bought the wrong type of bullets - they're blanks - so the locksmith's little girl never got hurt. I guess she'll keep on believing she's invincible and join the armed forces when she grows up.

Hoodwinked

Not sure which animation company produced this, but this movie is so hilarious. Concept is very similar to Shrek - take a familiar tale and turn it on its head. For this movie, it's the well-loved story of Little Red Riding Hood. Red, as she is called, is a delivery girl for her granny's goodies business. She doesn't know that Granny Puckett has a secret identity as an extreme sports athlete. And the Big Bad Wolf is an investigative reporter. So if he's not the bad guy (know as the Goody Bandit), then who has been stealing the recipes of the goody makers? Is it Kirk the woodsman who sells schnitzels and yearns to be a champion yodeler? Is it Japth the mountain goat with detachable horns who sings all his lines? Is it Twitchy the photographer squirrel who doesn't drink coffee? Is it Boingo the innocent-looking wide-eyed buck-toothed bunny? Flippers the inspector frog interviews them all to pinpoint the culprit. As each one tells his/her story from his/her own point of view, we slowly see the whole picture come together. A novel concept.

The songs used in the movie are very well-chosen, just like in Shrek. Special effects abound, and they're used quite effectively. The movie's a bit short, but tightly edited. And the jokes are downright funny.

Ole!

Started watching this French movie called Ole!, starring Gerard Depardieu and Gad Elmalah. Gerard plays this French tycoon, while Gad is his Spanish chauffeur-butler-buddy. By the middle of the film, still nothing exciting is happening. Good thing the plane has already landed in Changi Airport.