The Dog on the Tuckerbox and the Princess Bride - Melbourne Tour Day 4

It's another 12 hours on the road back to Sydney. The only thing worth mentioning is our stop at Gundagai. There's a famous local landmark called the Dog on the Tuckerbox, which features well, a dog on a tuckerbox. Its origin goes all the way back to the days of the early pioneers in the Australian bush. In 1824, the trail around the Murrumbidgee River was opened up for prospectors and cattle drovers. Times were hard and hazardous, with all supplies having to be manhandled by bullock carts along the makeshift track. Each wagon would usually be accompanied by a dog, who guards his owner's tuckerbox.

To pass the time during rest periods, "bullockies" would make up doggerel verse and rhymes, telling stories of their exploits. Rumour has it that the legend of the tuckerbox was born in 1850, on a river creek north of Gundagai. One particular story tells of the hardships of Billy the Bullocky - getting bogged down at nine mile creek, Nobby breaking the yoke, generally getting fed up. To make things worse, his trusty dog sat on the tuckerbox, ruining his meal for the night. Another version says the dog on the tuckerbox is meant to represent the dog's loyalty and trustworthiness in guarding his master's possessions.

Below is the original version of the story. It was later amended and made into a poem by Jack Moses. In 1937, Jack O'Hagen's popular song about it immortalized the Dog on the Tuckerbox.

Bowyang Yorke's Poem
As I was coming down Conroy's Gap,
I heard a maiden cry;
'There goes Bill the Bullocky,
He's bound for Gundagai.
A better poor old beggar
Never earnt an honest crust,
A better poor old beggar
Never drug a whip through dust.'
His team got bogged at the nine mile creek,
Bill lashed and swore and cried;
'If Nobby don't get me out of this,
I'll tattoo his bloody hide.'
But Nobby strained and broke the yoke,
And poked out the leader's eye;
Then the dog sat on the Tucker Box
Nine miles from Gundagai.

During the 12-hour trip, I also managed to finish reading William Goldman's The Princess Bride. It's easy to see why the book is a cult classic. Believable characters, fast-moving plot, a smorgasboard of action, adventure, drama, romance, comedy, tragedy etc. - storytelling at its best. The blurb goes, "Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Poison. True love. Hate. Revenge. Giants. Hunters. Bad men. Good men. Beautifulest ladies. Snakes. Spiders. Beasts of all natures and descriptions. Pain. Death. Brave men. Coward men. Strongest men. Chases. Escapes. Lies. Truths. Passion. Miracles." The book purports to be an abridgment done by Goldman of an older version written by S. Morgenstern. I was lucky enough to have the 25th anniversary edition, which comes with Chapter 1 of the sequel called Buttercup's Baby. I don't believe the sequel was ever published.

The book is about the haughty but beautiful Buttercup, who fell in love with farm boy Westley, whom she keeps on bossing around. Westley goes off to America to make his fortune, but was killed by the dreaded Dread Pirate Roberts. Buttercup died (inside) that day, and was later selected to marry Prince Humperdinck. Weeks before the wedding, Princess Buttercup was kidnapped by the Sicilian Vizzini, the Spaniard Inigo Montoya, and the giant Fezzik. The plan was to kill her and dump her body on the Guilder frontier, thus giving Prince Humperdinck an excuse to mount an attack. A man in black gave chase through the Florin Channel and up the Cliffs of Insanity. He bested Inigo Montoya in swordplay, Fezzik in a battle of strength, and Vizzini in a game of wits to finally rescue Princess Buttercup. The man in black turns out to be the Dread Pirate Roberts, who turned out to be the missing Westley. (Long story.) The book then goes into how they dropped into a ravine, how they traversed the Fire Swamp, how they escaped the Lightning Sand, how they fought off the R.O.U.S. (Rodents of Unusual Size), and how they ended up in Prince Humperdinck's clutches. Buttercup gave herself up on the condition that Westley be freed. Unknown to her, Westley was brought to the Zoo of Death, where the Count Rugen tries out his toys of torture on him, especially The Machine. On a particularly bad day where Buttercup found out that Humperdinck never sent ships to look for Westley, the Prince charged down to the Pit of Despair and activated The Machine on maximum, which ultimately killed Westley. Yes, he died - but not for long. Fezzik and Inigo Montoya rescued him from the Zoo of Death and brought him to the miracle man Miracle Max, who brought him back to life for 65 dollars. Off they went to storm Humperdinck's castle. Westley rescues Buttercup from her husband-to-be. Inigo Montoya kills the six-fingered Count Rugen (who killed his father) in a bloody duel. Fezzik finds them four steeds to take them to safety. And they lived happily ever after. The End.