Dummies Guide to Singlish

Listen to the Singaporeans long enough, and you can start to understand what they're trying to say. Knowing a bit of Malay and Hokkien and Cantonese helps a lot. I'm no expert myself, but you can always pick up the meaning from the context. Those which I don't get (and very often used), I'll just have to presume to be naughty words.

First, Singlish comes with lots of tags. They don't mean anything, but they make the language unique. For example:
Aiyah, will you two stop it?
You're so funny, man.
Actually, hor, that's not what I meant.
He's always like that, lor.
You think this is funny, ah?
No, lah. That's wrong, lah.
Why you so stupid one?

So far, there's only one Singlish interjection I've heard. Use it in place of wow, holy cow, crickey, my goodness, walanghiya, ohmigawd, Jesus H. Christ, etc. I give you, "Wah lau eh!" Ususally used to express surprise. (I have the feeling this is a bad word, so don't use it that often.)
Wah lau eh. My stocks dropped 33% today.
Wah lau eh. Sari, JT, AND Anthony all resigned from the company.
I've heard some people use Alamak! and Adoi!, but nothing beats Wah lau eh!

Some word replacements:
so, very = si beh, damn
tough, severe = teruk, chia lat
woman, girl = char bor
bad luck = suay
crazy = seow
embarrassing = malu
properly = swee-swee
to beat up = hoot
Caucasian = ang moh
what did you say = gong sia mi
to complain = kau peh kau bu
is that so = si ani
bad trip = siao liao
kopi tiam = local traditional coffee shop

All together now:
Heya, have you heard? Half the class failed the exam! Siao liao.
Wah lau eh, you sure? That's bad, man. I studied all night, you know.
Yeah, lor. Me, too. That exam was damn teruk! I did all my graphs swee-swee. Maybe I'll get partial points.
No way, man. Ang moh teacher said all or nothing, leh. Seow char bor. So malu if I fail. I'm gonna hoot her, what!
Gong sia mi? It's not her fault, mah. Kao peh kao bu won't help. Finals next week already.
Adoi! Si ani, meh? Studying is si beh chia lat one. I think I need 85% to pass. So suay. Like that how can?
Can, lah. Quit the kopi tiam, and hit the books. Sure can one.
Ok, lor. If you say so.

As with learning any new language, having a good dictionary helps a lot.